So hey. I saw people asking ma dear friend/lover RedHeadedBondage about how they can “Meet and date girls” like her, along with dismissive comments to her advice.
So here is my take: behold! A photo of myself, and her! She’s lookin all cute, and I’m… Scruffy. I swear I clean up well.
But here’s the thing, fellas. I’ve been around her. Been her friend, lover, and beyond, at various points. I’ve dated many girls as well, all just as wonderful and attractive, and varying in personalities. So, how does that happen?
Confidence and sincerity.
Sure, looks matter to a degree, but come on. I look awful a lot of times (and I don’t share THOSE photos), yet I was able to date this girl.
Because I was myself.
We actually met through a friend; a soul brotha of mine. Before she was ever famous on tumblr, we met on even ground. I didn’t hold her on a pedestal, nor think of her as anything but a cute girl I just met. Someone I wanted to talk to.
So I did just that. I took a chance and just started talking. “Hi. I’m Dan. I’m weird. Sorry I forgot my pants.”. Something like that (I stumbled upon her when she came to see my friend at my place, and I had just showered. Awkward!)
Now, it didn’t matter how I looked. What mattered was I had the guts to be myself and simply say Hey. If she had responded poorly, that’d be it. No loss, no foul. I’d move on, meet people, etc etc.
The big thing is, I didn’t know how awesome she’d be. No expectations. That’s the key,guys. Don’t EXPECT anything. Its so, so much simpler. That way, no matter what, you don’t get “friendzoned”, because it doesn’t exist; you just are where you are. If she’s not into you, she’s not. Somebody will be, though. So don’t act, don’t change, don’t be somebody else
…but it does help to be clean and respectable. Seriously. Don’t be gross, dress decently. First impressions matter; how you hold yourself and how you allow yourself to be viewed, even if its in your boxers with messy hair.